it goes vwoom together

Easy top ten. It’s.. beautiful.

Anyone who’s written a book can tell you how easily an author is distracted by visions of grandeur. In my experience, I stop twice for each paragraph, and four times for each panel of a comic, just to envision the wealth and prosperity that this book will procure for my lifestyle. I fear that the writing of this book will halt altogether to make way for the armada of SUVs and luxury towne cars that are blazing away in my head.

Rather than stop my production of the (Poignant) Guide, I’ve reserved this space as a safety zone for pouring my empty and vain wishes.

Today I was at this Italian restaraunt, Granado’s, and I was paying my bill. Happened to notice (under glass) a bottle of balsamic vinegar going for $150. Fairly small. I could conceal it in my palm. Aged twenty-two years.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that bottle. It is often an accessory in some of these obsessive fantasies. In one fantasy, I walk into the restaraunt, toss a stack of greenery on the counter and earnestly say to the cashier, “Quick! I have an important salad to make!”

In another, related fantasy, I am throwing away lettuce. Such roughage isn’t befitting of my new vinegar. No, I will have come to a point where the fame and the aristocracy will have corrupted me to my core. My new lettuce will be cash. Cold, hard cash, Mrs. Price.

Soon, I will be expending hundreds for a block of myzithra cheese.

My imaginations have now gone beyond posessions, though. Certainly, I have thought through my acquisition of grecian urns, motorcades, airlines, pyramids, dinosaur bones. Occassionally I’ll see wind-tossed cities on the news and I’ll jot down on my shopping list: Hurricane.

But, now I’m seeing a larger goal. Simply put: what if I amassed such a fortune that the mints couldn’t print enough to keep up with my demand? So, everyone else would be forced to use Monopoly money as actual currency. And you would have to win in Monopoly to keep food on the table. These would be some seriously tense games. I mean you go to mortgage St. James Place and your kids start crying. In addition, I think you’ll begin to see the end of those who choose to use the Free Parking square as the underground coffers for city funds.

You’ve got to hand it to fun money, though. Fake money rules. You can get your hands on it so quickly. For a moment, it seems like you’re crazy rich. When I was a kid, I got with some of the neighborhood kids and we built this little Tijuana on our street. We made our own pesos and wore sombreros and everything!

One kid was selling hot tamales for two pesos each. Two pesos! Did this kid know that the money was fake? Was he out of his mind? Who invited this kid? Didn’t he know this wasn’t really Tijuana? Maybe he was really from Tijuana! Maybe these were real pesos! Let’s go make more real pesos!

I think we even had a tavern where you could get totally hammered off Kool-Aid. There’s nothing like a bunch of kids stumbling around, mumbling incoherently with punchy red clown lips.

Why’s (Poignant) Guide to Ruby

Turns out the nice lady had an extra ticket anyway.

So mid-flight I decide to go see some of the animals and almost get eaten by a whale. Not the show-stopper of course.. but his little crony hiding off to the side. “Ya, I’m sure it’s safe Jules.. whugal, whugal.. (he’ll never think to check the shallow end)”

Little does he know.. I have a sprite in my escritoire..

Steven Wright

Today I discovered the wooden bar that runs along the bottom of the four(4)(….) person tables on the third floor of the HBLL. I’m not sure how I’ve managed to remain oblivious all these years but it was a welcome surprise. I’m actually sitting at one of the newly appreciated tables this very moment.

For those who don’t know, this wooden slat is ideally located to provide perfect support for the back-conscious sloucher. The primary technique for slat use seems to be one foot on top, the other underneath. With such orientation it is possible to move the hips a good six inches away from the back of the chair. One can then engage the bondas and shift about 25 percent of the body weight onto the elevated foot. This provides muscle and joint relief for the lower back in a position that would otherwise cause strain.

For increased benefit, one can then rest the calf of the lower leg on the inside of the elevated foot. This movement not only opens the lumbar joints but can also free some tension in the knees.

I feel I should say one more thing before moving on. A quick glance around the room reveals a fairly prominent mistake on the part of proximal, and oh-so-studious individuals. It appears to be.. popular to elevate both feet while also slouching in the chair.

If I may offer one piece of advice: Put your foot tha’ heck down! What, do you think it’s cool to sit like a rabbit? Is that what all the cool people do now? huh? I’m just so impressed. Look at me being impressed at your coolness.. jerk.

/breathe. I think I’m getting a bit off topic.. but really, all it does is put increased strain and curvature where you don’t want it. Trust me on this one Maurice.

ARCADE FIRE WITH LCD SOUND SYSTEM

When
September 26
7:00pm

Where
Thanksgiving Point Gardens: Waterfall Amphitheater

/think /think /think.._

The first in a series of interface experiments. Don’t be deceived by the content; it holds no sway over the site’s redemption.

Oh, and two points for inspiration identification. :)

julesferreira : two lies to rapture

Tiny Vessels

Rediscovered this one on Pandora today; such a pretty song.. Or maybe pretty isn’t the best way to describe it. Hmmm.. emotionally acrid? Yeah.

This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her but you don’t.
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful but she don’t mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don’t mean a thing to me.