it goes vwoom together

I was just kinda chilling in the library, working some chem problems when a nearby friend chose to break my concentration:

Friend: My biochem book says “objectionable odor” (/giggle /giggle /hapşurmak)
Me: (/sigh, back to rate laws)

It was the next statement that really pushed me over the edge.

Friend: Did you know that soaps are made of fats and oils?

I tried to maintain my composure but sometimes people just hit their breaking points. I lashed out in violent contempt:

Me: Heck of the frikin’ no you did not just say that. That has to be one of the most absurd ideas I have ever heard.

It takes a big man to admit a mistake

I dashed over to wikipedia to solidify my victory:

Soap is derived from either oils or fats. Sodium tallowate, a common ingredient in many soaps, is in fact derived from rendered beef fat. Soap can also be made of vegetable oils, such as olive oil.

A bit puzzled by the results I decided to consult an expert in the field of soap.

To: customerservice@bathandbodyworks.com
Subject: Product Questions

Name: jules

Wrote: I was wondering if it is possible to see the ingredients of the
various soaps online… thanks.

Some 92 hours later I received a response:

Dear Jules,

We appreciate you taking the time to write us in regards to our policies, services and products. We value your inquiry and your interest in Bath & Body Works and The White Barn Candle Co.

Our ingredients cannot be viewed online however we invite you to visit your local store to view the ingredients which are displayed on all bottles and/or packaging.

Thanks again for contacting us. We hope you will continue to enjoy your favorites from Bath & Body Works and The White Barn Candle Co. If we can do anything else for you, please feel free to reply to this e-mail (please do not change the subject line) or call us at 1-800-395-1001.

Sincerely,
Randi Monroe

The White Barn what?

Oh. /sigh. I guess I could just go look at the bottles then… p/o Randi. Thanks for the memories.

As it turns out, modern soaps are really just these synthetic detergent things. It is rare to find commercial product that is actually made of soap. It’ll be nice to get back to my old hygienic habits.

Today is a good day. I don’t think I got more than five hours sleep but I’m just feeling a liiiiiiitle bit ’sparkly’.

It’s one of those smile ones

Sometimes you think about something really really hard; to the point of absolute obsession. Then you remind yourself that such thought patterns are entirely unhealthy and unproductive. Every now and then it’s nice when your unhealthy thoughts develop just as dreamed.

But it’s scary because it’s fragile… that’s all.

Anyway… I had some free time in class and played around with math-based movement.

Deliberate Motion

So I got the oddest voicemail the other day:

To save it in the archives, press 9

Next message; Sent Saturday, January 20th at 4:27pm

hello?
// six second pause
hello?
// three second pause
Shoot.
// five second pause

End of message.

While I doubt the message was meant to indicate malevolent motives, I can’t help but be a a little frightened.

I can’t help but feel like I won

About a week ago a bridal magazine appeared at the entrance to my apartment. Having already gone through the current edition, I decided to leave this copy at the door of my next door neighbors. I thought little of the consequences of such an action and proceeded to class.

On returning I found the same magazine, once again, carefully laid infront of my door. I nudged it back towards the adjacent apartment.

This conflicting behavior continued for the better part of a week until one day… the magazine disappeared. After a few minutes exploration, I found it deftly placed at the step of a THIRD apartment in the WQ complex. Good Game :p

I just feel like bragging a weeeeeee bit. I don’t think myself particularly impressive… but I’m just a little proud.

One of them will be me as a boy

Chemistry has always been my least favorite science. When I was in high school I took chemistry from Mr. Peterson. Mr. Peterson was kinda tall and lanky… and angry.

One time one of his bats (he kept bats… for chemistry experiments… jk, I don’t know why he had the bats, but he kept them in his classroom) escaped into the hallway. We were all impressed when we heard that he captured the creature. Turns out he used a net.

Anyway, I’ve never enjoyed chemistry. Today that changed.

I completed my chem 107 lab in record time and received praise from the TA. I like chemistry.

One of them will be me

I didn’t ace the neuro quiz but honestly, who knows the percent of cardiac output that is sent to the brain?

And I think Dr. Lephart knows Kung Fu, btw… Something about his movement is entirely stoic. Well either that or he has some artificial compound simulating the actions of GABA on his CNS… idk.

One of them will be me; watching you run

I got xp running on my macbook. Games run on xp. I installed a game. I stared really hard at a login screen for about 15 minutes. I uninstalled a game and destroyed the xp partition.

I think I’ve found a better game.

Watching you run
Into the high noon sun
Watching you run
Farther than guns will go
You are a runner
With a stolen voice
And you are a runner

And I am my father’s son

I used to call my best friend, Tyler, on a daily basis.

Now it is important to note that as far as best friends went (chronologically), Tyler fell between Jim and Austin. Jim and Austin were both very assertive individuals. I don’t think it a stretch to suggest that they had found a nice medium between mindless aggression and “doormat.”

Jim shot a pigeon with a pellet gun

Jim played baseball and “Magic the Gathering” and “Doom” and “Jane’s Combat Flight Sim” and he had a dog and cut a worm in half once. I liked doing what Jim did but never really offered suggestions for activities. There were two times that Jim and I encountered confrontation. One time we got angry at each other at baseball practice. This other time I deleted a school paper that was saved on his computer (it was supposed to be funny… like a joke). After we entered fifth grade, Jim became quite popular and my time spent with him grew shorter. When he moved to Washington we were friends at best.

I called him some six months later:

Jules: Hi, can I speak with Jim?
Jim: This is Jim. (see I already knew that but had quite a structure for the format of my phone calls)
Jules: Hi Jim, this is Jules. I recently bought “Jane’s Combat Flight Sim” and wondered if you wanted to play with me over the internet.
Jim: Umm… well see, we are still unpacking and we haven’t really set our computer up yet.
Jules: Oh… Ummm… Ok. (At this point my mother is mouthing things like “Ask him about school”, “his new house”, etc.)
Jim: I’m not quite sure when we are going to get it all set up.
Jules: Ok. Mmmm… bye.
Jim: … bye.

I never talked to Jim again but soon after found Tyler. Oh wait, I need to tell you about Austin.

Yeah, I listen to John Denver

Austin was my hero. We lived a block from each other and went to the same middle school. Austin was quite possibly the most popular boy at CVMS (…go vikings). During the time we were friends Austin and I shared a love for basketball, tennis, and “The Sims.” He used to call me up and we would go and play tennis together. One time, while waiting to be picked up from the tennis court I let Austin in on a little secret. He was the first person outside of my family to know and it went a little something like:

I am… not… the way you think I am.

I don’t know if Austin was impressed but we laughed a lot more after that.

Anyway, I think I’m getting sidetracked. I used to call Tyler on a daily basis. Unlike Jim and Austin, Tyler was a bit more like me… a bit less decisive. Our conversations varied little from day to day:

Jules: Hi Tyler, do you wana play?
Tyler: Sure.
Jules: What do you want to do?
Tyler: Mmm, I don’t know, whatever.
Jules: Well, I don’t care.
Tyler: But, I mean, what do you want to do?
Jules: … Whatever you want to do.

We would carry on in such a way for a good hour before finally coming to a conclusion. The end activity was always Nintendo64 or basketball. Now, I was secretly addicted to the N64. My parents wouldn’t allow me to spend more than 1.5 hours each day playing video games or watching TV. It was always grand to slip over to Tyler’s and indulge in a four hour gaming session.

Parents: Remember your time limit.
Jules: OK.

*four hours later*

Parents: How was Tyler’s?
Jules: Gooood… we played with his dog… and birds…

But I’m getting sidetracked again. I always hoped that we would end up playing Nintendo but was too afraid to say so. Plus I guess a little variety makes it more enjoyable…

The point

Anyway, I’ve since come to find pleasure in making decisions. There is something very satisfying about getting your way. And even if I happen to be indifferent on a topic, knowing that I can control the outcome is very empowering. Therefore, in an attempt to find greater self worth and play with a new toy, may I present:

Decision Maker