It was 7:40pm. I was booking it down the long {pedestrians-on-one-side-cyclists-on-the-other} ramp on the southwest corner of campus.
Don’t tell anyone but sometimes I walk on the bike-only side just to feel powerful. I imagine what I would do if a villain were to attack me on a bike. I would probably sidestep at the last minute and use the cyclists momentum to throw him from the bike to the pavement. I would then swing my backpack as a flail. You see, the key when fighting someone with a technological advantage is to take an all out offensive position. Bring the fight to them. Don’t relent and run. Take whatever measures necessary to keep them off balance.
Say there is a crazed individual trying to run you down with an Astro van. Only an inexperienced fighter would retreat. Again, sidestep and flail the backpack like the medieval weapon it is reminiscent of (did someone want to know why I always carry a backpack?). Bring the windshield down upon your assailant. Get in close. They will be so focused on using their advantage that you can destroy them while they fumble for an easy success.
Anyway… I was moving at a rapid pace because my new addiction (Heroes) was going to start in mere minutes. I had to quickly pick up a friend (Jenny) and then drive back to my place, all in 20 minutes. I was quite pressed for time and determined to slow for no man. When I reached the three-way intersection at the bottom of that massive set of stairs I was forced to pause in joyful recollection.
“Clear!” was all I heard. I lifted my eyes to wittiness a man, on a rickety-red-plastic sled, riding down three flights of steps. He picked up enough speed to slide across the flat break in stairs and then continue down the next flight. This continued down three(3) sets of stairs and ended with him bailing before sliding into oncoming traffic.
I cheered with my fellow onlookers and reflected on my own sledding adventures. One such adventure had happened the previous night.
I was dreaming (OK, so it wasn’t a real adventure, but I didn’t know it at the time)… I was carrying this big-red-plastic sled through my neighborhood in Draper, UT. JT (Justin Timberlake and I are on an initial-name basis) had the back of the sled, and I was holding onto the front. JT was totally pumped because he had never been sledding before and I was like, “OK, you ready?” and he was all, “I’m bringing sexy back!”
We walked around for a while but couldn’t find any snow. Later we met up at the Jedi temple (from Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast; kick it Kyle!) and JT took me aside.
“Listen JF, I appreciate your taking me sledding and I want to make it up to you. What do you say about my teaching you some dance moves?”
I was down, and so begun my training. Is it any coincidence that JT’s dance moves were taught in tandem with padawan lightsaber techniques? I think not. So anyway, the last two evenings, I have received instruction from my main man on how to get groovy. I’m feeling more confidant in my movement and am thinking about getting some practice “in vitro”.
If only I had a cream-collared polo with red accents… I would be the envy of the club…
Well JF, what are you waiting for? It could it be that you only have a white polo with cream and red highlights?
I gotta see these moves.
Entertaining entry.